are you sleeping brother?

I am in a murmur and meditation regarding a provocation reaching up from my insides to take a pilgrimage. to walk out of my door and begin a journey on foot to the north of England and up into Scotland along the historical route of the A1 and its predecessor Ermine Street. I'm not sure if modern life will permit me to make this trip all in one go, but perhaps that is the only way to ask some of the questions, and reveal some of the answers, that are bubbling up as I contemplate this project.

"we have to become fully activated human beings, every part of us, tremendously alive and ready to take charge”  Lewis Mumford

and...

are we asleep? http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/adamcurtis/entries/5a7b18b5-0ec3-3d3e-a307-54820a7c6a59 Adam Curtis, both his blog, and the amazing and inspiring film 'Bitter Lake'

so - my question:

what’s in your heart?

i’m asking whether you are asleep

I’m asking what you think your dream is, whether what we have come to believe is a reward that we are working towards is really coming, 

is it about pensions and security and retirement and reward for our years of service and blah

everything is so confusing now, and perhaps it’s because the system we trusted to provide the rewards keeps collapsing in on itself and those cracks are letting us see through the walls, like that film The Matrix. I love Tarkovsky so I'm down with Solaris being referenced throughout Bitter Lake.

addiction was my first wake up call

seems therapy has me in the throes of a second

I am asking you, I am asking myself

what does it mean to become fully realised as a human being, can the internal revolution provoke the external one?

i wonder if starting a TRA is my first step towards representing the views of my local community against the corporate elite. momentarily the very idea exhausted me. but like the abstinence-based recovery programme I give considerable amounts of time to, perhaps it will be equally invigorating.

am i really knackered? or am i just asleep?

apropos of nothing, Ben & I went to find the Thames lighthouse and along the way I saw this glowing fish. it's the most interesting image, of recent times, that I have in my vast collection of phone photographs, so, it's all yours.

x